Learn How to Challenge Your Fears So You Can Fully Live

Challenge your fears so you can live to your potential

Are you worrying about a bunch of different fears right now?

Are you always figuring out which worry to manage next?

Do you tend to start your questions with the two words “What if…?”

If this sounds like you, stick around for a bit because I have some encouraging words for you.

I know how many people are consumed and overwhelmed by the number and weight of the fears in their minds.  Not too long ago, I was one of those people myself.

I used to:

  • not know that I was anxious at all because I was always anxious
  • go to bed every night stressing out
  • wake every morning stressing out
  • fear other people’s disapproval
  • fear causing others trouble
  • fear not performing adequately
  • not make decisions by myself for fear of picking the wrong option
  • not socialize a lot because I was too swamped with work and exhausted from worry

Being shrouded in fear had some good aspects, including…

Nope.  I change my mind.

Being shrouded in fear really was not good for me at all.

Starting as a patient in psychotherapy at the start of my graduate school training was the turning point in my relationship with my fears.  With the support of my therapist, I:

  • learned how to identify individual feelings (instead of experiencing them as one globby mess or denying them entirely)
  • learned how to speak about my ideas and needs directly
  • became more confident academically and socially
  • developed stronger and healthier relationships
  • became comfortable living in the present moment
  • became comfortable with myself

When I accepted who I was, I became less inclined to gravitate towards my anxiety and fear for comfort.  I began to tackle my procrastination full on and to engage more fully in the matters of my own life.

That’s most of my story.  Let’s see what you can do to change your own relationship to fear.

6 Reasons Why Fear Should Not Be the Dominant Force in Your Life

  1. If you let yourself be guided by your fears, you will always be headed towards your least-preferred outcome.  You think you are prepping yourself to avoid being disappointed, but in the meantime, you are actively excluding the possibility you might be overjoyed by success.  
  2. We miss out on the benefits of our relationships.  When we predict that people in our current lives are going to hurt us like we were hurt in the past by other people, we end up interacting with those new people only part way.  New people in your life want to interact with the fully present you, not the former version of you.  Open yourself up to create new, mutually beneficial relationships.  Try trust instead of fear.
  3. When we lead with our fears, we forget we are capable of handling whatever happens.  All the progress we’ve made in learning how to cope, using our resources and intuition, and relying on our support network goes out the window when we lead with our fears.
  4. We miss out on the richness of new experiences.  New interactions are dulled or not even seen when we are busy focusing on our anxieties.  The next time you have a new experience, make sure you engage with a clear mind and heart, so you can get the most out of the experience, without the distortion fear brings.
  5. We don’t want to become accustomed to living in fear.  Fear always wants to take more of your well-being if you let it.  Most of us will always have a little bit of fear, but we can make sure we live in conjunction with our fears instead of behind or under them.  Use your power to direct your actions, to follow through, to communicate clearly, and to get things done.
  6. We cause trouble for ourselves.  Fear is confusing to us.  We distort situations, project our fears onto other people, and end up in conflicts that would be unnecessary if there were clear communication and a trusting atmosphere.  Let’s avoid relying on our fears for guidance, and trust ourselves and those around us instead.

How to Lead with Hope Instead of Fear

Life is a constant interplay of up and down.  We try to prevent ourselves from being hurt by the down moments by anticipating them.  We end up hurting ourselves by putting our fears front and center all of the time.  Fear ends up blocking our clear view.

[Tweet “We sacrifice so much when we assume our fears are well-founded.”]

In order to change this fear-based approach, we need to rely on a little faith and hope we will be able to handle whatever comes our way.  Let experience guide you rather than the constant stream of fears that runs through your mind.

If that sounds scary to you, realize you will be more prepared to face the future when you have all of your faculties in place, in the present moment, unencumbered by fear and distraction.  Showing up, without fear, will enable you to reap the benefits of your own natural resilience.  You can do this.  You can do this without getting exhausted, stressed, or disconnected from yourself.

Avoid living with the feeling of being in fear and enable yourself to be the unique, creative, grounded, and attractive person you are.  Fully yourself and open to the fullness of life.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How I Easily Save Time Each Day

Save TIme Every Day with the Moment App

In my work recovering from my chronic procrastination and in teaching others to do the same, I have found that learning how to save time is essential.  When we use our time mindfully, we are better able to resist the lure of procrastination and we are able to find more satisfaction across each day.

The more we figure out ways to save time, the more we feel:

  • empowered
  • calm
  • focused
  • capable
  • centered
  • grounded

But there is more. 

The more we learn how to use our time mindfully, the less we feel:

  • distracted
  • harried
  • overwhelmed
  • incompetent
  • out of time

Time appears to expand when we are mindful of our time and when our focus is clear.  The opposite happens when we fall behind schedule, are worried about the future, and feel unclear and overwhelmed about what to do next.  Time contracts when we feel stressed.

How I Easily Save Time Each Day by Using the Moment App

I had been hearing about the Moment App, a free tool that tracks how much time users spend on their phone.  I figured I should give it a try, since I’m game for any productivity-enhancing app.

I approached it with some resistance — the resistance of seeing how much time I was ACTUALLY spending on the phone.  You might know what I mean here.

I made it a promise to myself to go through with the experiment by announcing on Instastory that I was going to use the app.  That sealed the deal.

Then I worked a full work day with the Moment App tracking my phone use from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 pm.  The results were: 

1 hour and 24 minutes of screen time and 19 pickups

The results didn’t blow me away (either in a good or bad way), so I decided to continue using it for a few more days.

Now those results I paid attention to. 

I initially saw my phone time go way up — probably because it was the weekend.  And it went up substantially.  Enough to make me take note. 

Then after another few days, I realized the extra self-awareness I had because of the Moment App encouraged me to curb my phone use.  My self-awareness was now switched to “ON.”

Whenever I just wanted to linger on the phone a little longer I didn’t. 

When I had no specific reason to pick up the phone I didn’t. 

Bam.  That right there probably saved me an hour a day.  Pretty sweet.

I encourage you to move past your own resistance to looking at your own behavior and life.  I highly recommend the Moment App, but if you have some other way to examine your actions more closely and to save time that works for you, do that. 

I’d say there are few investments better than those that rescue your time.

Enjoy having more time and more freedom in your day.

Before You Go

What will you do with all of your new-found time?  Take advantage of the time you will save with the Moment App.  I’ve designed the TIME TRACKER sheet to help you plan your actions and ensure you’ll feel good about what you’ve accomplished at the end of the day.  The TIME TRACKER sheet will encourage you to be strategic about your planning and to be mindful of what you do and don’t do.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

16 Ways to Fast Track Your Way to Success

These 16 steps will show you the way to successHave you ever wondered how some people seem to move from one success to the other?

Have you ever wanted freedom from the things that hold you back from success?  Can you imagine what life would be like without procrastination, self-doubt, and fatigue?

I have great news for you.  You can readily attain the success and good feelings you crave. They are available to all of us.

Below I’ve listed 16 steps you can take to lay the groundwork for your own eventual success.  Be patient with yourself as you guide yourself through the steps, as some of them may require you to change some long-held patterns.  You may feel doubtful or anxious when you make these shifts in behavior and mindset, but please remember, change tends to bring a little bit of anxiety with it.  Breathe through the anxiety and have confidence in the changes you are making for yourself.  Avoid trying to master all of the steps all at once.  One step at a time is a great way to travel.

16 Ways to Fast Track Your Way to Success

  1. Get enough sleep. Sleeping 7-9 hours per night will do the trick.
  2. Decide how you want to feel tomorrow and make your decisions based on that feeling.
  3. Speak up for what you need when you need it (or before).
  4. Be yourself.  When you are not being yourself, others will not be able to get a “read” on what you want.
  5. Don’t compare yourself with others.  Comparing yourself to others will slow you down unnecessarily.  It may block you from moving forward altogether.
  6. Eat healthy foods as often as possible.
  7. Set a priority.  Always orient yourself towards that priority until it’s done.
  8. Stretch yourself forward.  You can grow and change more than you think.  Anxiety has us thinking way too small.
  9. Connect with people who can help, guide, support, and encourage you.
  10. Think positively.  When we imagine success, it becomes easier to head for it and to see it when it arrives.
  11. Discard your feelings of guilt, worry, and shame.  They are not essential for working, playing, or living.  Orient yourself towards success.
  12. Stay connected to why you are doing what you are doing.  This will keep your focus strong and your motivation high.
  13. Plant seeds daily.  My friend and colleague Pamela Slim is the champion of this concept — connect with someone or act in a way today so that in a little while, you will see growth and engagement springing from that earlier connection or act. Growth comes from consistent, concerted effort.
  14. Avoid overdoing, perfecting, rehashing, and hyper-regretting.  The goal is to streamline our actions.
  15. Remember your creative power is already within you, part of you, waiting to be expressed.
  16. Celebrate every win.  When we forget to celebrate, we are essentially forgetting to be happy.  Celebrate each success.

I hope this list has given you the gift of get-up-and-go.  If it has, or if you are hoping for something a little more concrete to get you started, I invite you to use the same Garden of Seeds spreadsheet template which I use myself.  Trust me, it is a wonderful tool to have and to use.  Click the button below to get it in your own inbox ==>

Click Here to Receive the Garden of Seeds Template

Whichever strategy you choose to use, please remember to be kind to yourself.  If we do not feel well, we cannot do well.  External success is meaningless if it costs us our health and well-being.  Always make sure to take care of your mind, body, energy, and spirit.

Do you have any strategies for success that you would add to this list?  Please share them in the comments below.  If you feel this article might be helpful to someone you know, please share it with them.  Thank you.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How to Get Back on Track after You’ve Lost Track of Time

Get past the interruptions and distractions

Are you wondering where your time has gone?  Even better, are you wondering what you can do to make sure you don’t lose any more time?  It can be very difficult to get back on track after an emergency or more general interruption occurs.  We can veer so far from our original intended actions.  The good news is, we can also learn how to protect ourselves from unexpected or unwanted time waste.

Instead of getting down on yourself and making it more difficult to feel motivated, have a set of strategies to cope with interruptions.  Coach yourself to restore your sense of focus and purpose as quickly as you can.

Here’s a quick list of 6 suggestions for how to get back on track after dealing with an interruption or distraction:

1.  Start by knowing what your general game plan is.  Before you start your day, sketch out a general game plan for how you would like things to progress.  I recommend you start with a copy of The Emergent Task Planner if you don’t already have a good system to organize and to track your daily activities.  Once you have an established plan in place, it should be easier to avoid disruptions and to get back into action if you face a blip in your plans.

2.   Figure out which factors tend to cause a break in your focus.  Is it boredom?      Working for too long?  Lack of sleep?  Too much alcohol last night?  Whatever the reason, note it well.  Devise a plan to reduce the occurrence, impact, and effect of these trigger factors when you need to get more things done.

3.   Accept and tolerate interruptions when they occur. Don’t add emotional drama to the existing drama of the event that caused you to go off course.  Life happens. Let it be.  Take a breath.  Start over again.  Also remember…just because other people are getting worked up does not mean you have to.  Stay the course.

4.   Lighten your schedule a bit if you can anticipate a series of interruptions or if you struggle with not being able to stay focused for very long.  Trim your schedule so you can feel the benefits of completing what you start.  Enjoy feeling accomplished, successful, and free.  You can always build your schedule up again if you need or want to in a few days or weeks.  Remember, you are the boss of your own time, so be a great boss.

5.  Use your evening time well. There is much ado lately about using our early morning hours well, but I have always thought the evening hours deserve recognition too.  Reflect on the day’s events at night time and make another game plan for the next day.  If you had to deal with procrastination or another type of interruption in your work, do a few minutes of what you originally planned to do.  Those few minutes of actively dealing with your work at night will set you up for greater productivity the next day.

6.  Forgive yourself quickly to recover more quickly.  You simply lost track of time.  You were busy.  You really meant to get more done.  It is okay.  Any of the reasons you lost track of time have got to be okay because now that time is in the past.  Gone.  Done.  Move forward again, the way you had wanted to.  You can still do it.  Remember, no drama needed.

There are many ways to get back on track after an interruption, so feel free to build your own set of trusty tricks and tips too.  Remember to be kind to yourself no matter what situation you find yourself in as that always makes everything easier to get through.

Want to try something new?

I’ve designed the One Page Personal Plan to help you make good on your intentions to get your important tasks and goals accomplished.  The One Page Personal Plan consists of sections for goal-setting and tracking your progress as well.  To get your free copy, please click the button below:

Please share this post if you feel it might be helpful to someone you know.  Thank you!

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How to Perform at Your Best Even When You Have Anxiety

Hpw to Perform at Your Best Even When You Have AnxietyWhen I do coaching or psychotherapy with clients who struggle with procrastination, I almost always end up discussing the topic of anxiety.  Anxiety causes us to doubt our natural abilities, making us more vulnerable to procrastination and a whole host of other fears.

Anxiety is present when we fear:

  • moving forward
  • falling behind
  • never feeling good about ourselves or our work
  • never accomplishing our most significant goals because of the small stuff in the way
  • failing to reach our potential

We all need to learn to co-exist with our anxiety.  Anxiety will never totally go away because we need it to alert us to discomfort and danger.  But we need to build our awareness about how anxiety works in order to maintain a feeling of safety and consistency within ourselves.  We can do this through a daily practice of being mindful of what brings us stress and making sure we take enough action to keep our stress at manageable (and hopefully low) levels.

How to Perform at Your Best Even When You Have Anxiety

Here’s a straightforward plan to keep you steer clear of anxiety-fueled chaos:

1. Avoid seeing all of your undone tasks and unfinished things as one big pile.

Instead of ruminating over how much you have to do, start to tease out what it is that you need to do.  Do not take everything on your plate and turn it into a dark cloud trailing you around town all day.  It is more difficult to tackle everything than it is to tackle something.  When we have too many things to do, getting something done can be a huge plus.

My favorite tool for keeping my to do list manageable is the Trello app.  Take a few minutes today to try it out.  I think you’ll find it helpful for avoiding to do list overwhelm.

Related reading: 5 Secret Uses of the Trello App to Overcome Procrastination and Boost Productivity

2. Write everything down.

When we see what we need to do on paper, we can start to make a realistic plan for how to get the details taken care of.  When we just sit with the anxiety and start to freak out, we reduce our odds of being able to do anything at all. 

Take a small, doable section of your plan and write out your plan of attack.  When will you start?  How much time will you allow yourself to take?  What pieces of this plan can you put down on paper right away?  Don’t even think about the rest of the plan until you finish the first part.

I highly recommend you download a copy of the Emergent Task Planner to get your plan of action laid out.  It’s an elegant one-page planning sheet to help you sort out how you’d like your next day to go.

Related resource: The Emergent Task Planner

3. Be patient with yourself. 

When we are in a period of overwhelm, it is easy to feel drained and frustrated.  Frustration makes It easy to give up on our efforts to move things forward.  When we are feeling overwhelmed, we need to invest our efforts into having more compassion towards ourselves. 

Yelling at yourself will just make matters worse. 

Flinging your papers into the air will just make a mess. 

Believing in yourself and allowing yourself to move forward, despite your doubts and fears, will make everything better.

Instead of giving into the negative feelings, start to coach yourself into getting the next step done.  Relax your high expectations.  Have faith this period of difficulty will be temporary and will soon be over.

4. Focus on your WHY

Anxiety tends to crop up when we attempt projects that are most meaningful to us.  Anxiety also arises when we are trying to do something new.  Keeping our focus on WHY we are doing these new projects is one of the best ways to handle the anxiety that is competing for our attention. 

What is your WHY?  Your WHY might be:

  • your purpose in life
  • using your natural talents to help others
  • making the people you care about feel safe and loved
  • doing your best with the resources you have
  • finding new ways to solve old problems
  • enjoying each day fully

Our ability to change our perspective to get us through difficult times is a tremendous skill. Make sure you remember to use your own ability to reflect and to shift your mindset next time you feel you’re about to give in to your anxiety.

Recommended viewing: How Great Leaders Inspire Action TED Talk by Simon Sinek

5.  Remember that you are limitless

Anxiety forces us to focus on small quantities.  Anxiety forces us to focus on what we are afraid of, which can be a small fraction of what we might actually achieve.  Anxiety reminds us that we have limits and tries to make us believe we are about to mess those limits up.  Anxiety gives us a distorted view of what is really going on.  We can never see things for what they are when we are anxious.

So the next time you feel drained by your anxiety, focus on your abilities and potential instead.  Each and every one of us has the ability and the potential to succeed despite intense feelings of anxiety.  It is in our nature to do so. 

Man on a Wire is my all-time favorite movie.  I guarantee you will take a closer look at what you can accomplish with your one life after watching this remarkable story.

Recommended viewing: Man on a Wire

What’s next?

Why shrink ourselves down to smaller versions of what we might be?  Instead of quaking in our boots, let’s take a breath and move forward into what we might be.  Anxiety will have nothing on us.  And, instead of anxiety, we will be filled with different types of feelings, like joy, pride, satisfaction, and contentment. 

Let’s go.

Before you go

I’ve created a free download containing my top 5 tips for being able to stay on track even when you are feeling anxious.  Click the button below to get this list of helpful tips:

Get “THE 5 SECRETS FOR STAYING CLEAR OF FEAR” download now

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How to Use Your Schedule to Find More Time for Yourself

Use your schedule to find more time for yourselfTime is very tricky.  Time can slide by us.  Time can get away from us.  We can throw time away.  We can crave more time.  We can even arrange our schedule so to make more time for ourselves.

Fascinating.  (Let’s do that last one.)

I want to help you feel like you have control over your time and that you have enough time to do what you want and need to do.  Fortunately, the process for getting sanity in your schedule is neither complex nor out of your reach.  You can do this.  It does take a bit of planning though.

How to Use Your Schedule to Find More Time for Yourself

Step 1. Download and use the Emergent Task Planner

The Emergent Task Planner

The Emergent Task Planner (a free download)

The Emergent Task Planner is a single sheet free download from David Seah.  Grab your Emergent Task Planner here.  Use it to organize your activities over a single day, plan your priority items, track your time usage, and keep tabs on your entire To Do list.

You will feel more connected to your plans if you write them down and if you see them written down. You will feel more inclined to get something done when you see the range of things you have to get done laid out in front of you in an organized way.

Gone are the days where you just hope that your tasks get done before the end of the day. You’ve got a plan now.

Step 2.  Commit to Accurate Scheduling

Here’s where the planning starts to pay off.

Get in the habit of assigning a time for each of your to do list items to be done.  Build upon that habit by making sure you do things as you have planned.  Each task has its own time slot.  You will know what to focus on just by looking at your schedule.  No need for confusion or indecision anymore.

This step will be difficult to follow through on at first if you have been Procrastinating for a while.  Just stick with the idea and practice of accurate scheduling and take things day-by-day.  You will soon be able to work in synch with time instead of feeling like you are always falling behind.

Step 3. Avoid overwhelm

Procrastinators are accustomed to feeling overwhelmed.  Overwhelm can take so many different forms including:

  • not having enough time
  • feeling incredibly anxious
  • feeling pressured by expectations from others
  • not being organized
  • being exhausted from lack of sleep
  • not knowing what to do next

Keeping your activities organized with the Emergent Task Planner will help you avoid overwhelm.  Accurate scheduling will also help you to to feel calm. You can take the planning one step further by making sure you make room in your schedule for proper rest and breaks, good meals, socializing, exercise, and sleep.  When you arrange your schedule mindfully, it will support your progress and sense of well-being throughout the day.

Make sure you remember to plan sanity into your schedule.  We cannot function like robots because we are not robots.  We need to take care of ourselves first, before we can do good work for ourselves and others.

Step 4.  Eliminate anything unnecessary

In order to have sanity in our schedule, we need to have a To Do List and a Not To Do List. We need to make decisions about what to eliminate and to make them wisely.

These decisions can feel tough, because many of us like to cram every.little.thing.under.the.sun into our schedule.  It can feel fun to try everything, but if we are being real, we need to come to terms with the truest of truths — we cannot do it all.

Consider what you might do without, so you can have more sanity for yourself:

  • binge watching television shows or movies
  • monitoring the news constantly
  • reading the entire Internet every time you pick up your phone
  • worrying and second-guessing
  • saying “yes” to everything

I know, it’s a tough list to think about.  It might be tougher to take this important step of cutting something out of your schedule.  Please know that your decision to manage your time more carefully will actually bring you more enjoyment and freedom in your life — not less.

When you make good decisions about how you use your time, you will end up feeling like you have more time to use.  You’ll need to trust me at first on this one, but that’s okay because these strategies really work.

Love your schedule, love yourself

You might feel some resistance to the idea of using your schedule to combat Procrastination.  After all, there are so many factors that make it seem like Procrastination is here to stay.  But, as we all know, Procrastination is the thief of time and a pain in the a**, and time is truly precious.  So let’s start moving so we can kick Procrastination out the door.

Let’s remember to be kind to ourselves as we try new techniques and ideas.  Let’s not get overly frustrated when things don’t feel like they are going perfectly from the start.  It is important to stay the course.  Love your schedule in order to love yourself.  The rewards of finding productivity and flow after leaving Procrastination behind are tremendous.  Don’t miss them.

Related reading:  

7 Tips to Help You Become a Master Scheduler

 

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How to Leave Your Negative Mindset in the Dust

Learn to leave your negative mindset behindProcrastinators are oftentimes victims of their own negative mindset.  Rather than coaching themselves towards success, Procrastinators lean towards doom and gloom, predicting humiliation and failure for themselves.  

It is no wonder then, that Procrastination tends to be a problem that continues without being corrected or halted.  The combination of negative mindset and Procrastination limits our natural leanings towards freedom and forward movement.  We end up being consumed with worry and fear instead of putting our heads down and getting our work done.  

What gives rise to a negative mindset?

The roots of a negative mindset can be found in many diverse areas:

  • low self-esteem
  • lack of self-confidence
  • growing up with overly critical parents or other authority figures
  • growing up in dysfunctional, chaotic environments
  • early notable academic or personal success which gives rise to anxiety about performance as the child grows up
  • depression

Negative thoughts certainly can occur on a daily basis.  We need to be mindful of when they dominate our frame of mind and outlook.  When we become mired in negative thoughts and negative predictions of future events, we short-circuit our own ability to think clearly and to act with the full power of our skills, intelligence, and resources.  

We begin to limit our own sense of freedom.  We begin to act as if we are broken, impaired, incompetent, or less than we really are.

Four ways to break free of a negative mindset

Fortunately, a negative mindset does not have to be a permanent part of your life.  Use the following four suggestions to avoid getting stuck in negativity:

  1. Evaluate the purpose of your self-dialogue.  Are you trying to scare yourself out of taking action?  Are you trying to convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to more forward?  Be honest with yourself when you do this kind of evaluation.
  2. Question whether you want your negative thoughts to be true.  (I learned this technique from an Amy Porterfield business podcast.)   Look at the picture you are painting with your self-talk and decide if you indeed want this picture to become your reality.  If the answer is “no,” then change the words you are using to coach yourself.
  3. Learn how to generate action from your thoughts.  What could you replace your negative mindset and language with?  A plan?  A deadline?   A supportive person?  A goal?  A work sprint at a coffee shop?  Replace the anxiety that comes from negative thinking with some sort of action.  The replacement doesn’t need to be dramatic, big, or important.  It just needs to put you back in motion.
  4. Decide to give yourself the benefit of a balanced frame of mind.  Instead of walking around with an overburdened brain, decide to give yourself a break.  Allow yourself to approach every new challenge with an open mind and heart, without expectations of failure and with a presumption of eventual success.

Here’s a bonus technique to try

When you think about your next new challenges, ask yourself the question: “Am I working towards keeping my freedom or am I surrendering it?”  As long as you work towards your next action, you maintain your flexibility and your capacity to learn.  Once you decide to stay stagnant and to let that stagnation go on and on, you become more vulnerable to anxiety and stress.

Keep in mind that relying on Procrastination often puts your freedom and flexibility in jeopardy.  Make avoiding Procrastination a priority.  Learn to treat yourself well, in thought and in action, and the payoffs will keep coming your way.

If you are interested in getting some support in your efforts to adjust your mindset, please consider joining the Procrastination Coach Facebook Group.  You’ll find information, articles, and loads of support from me and the community within the group.  

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

What Is the Most Important Factor for Consistent Productivity?

What is the most important factor for consistent productivity?Both procrastinators and non-procrastinators yearn to be more productive.  There are lots of strategies, tools, and techniques to assist us in our work and daily lives these days, but even with that assistance, many people find consistent productivity hard to achieve.

Why is this the case?  Why do we intend and want to be productive and to get our work done, but then have our actions get in our way?  So often our actions don’t line up with our original intentions.

I found the answer to this question in a conversation with my husband.

I talked with my husband about all things related to being consistently productive.  We had the opportunity to review what we thought were the most important factors for getting things done.  He is a project manager and an inherently organized and practical, and of course that means he’s the world’s exact opposite of me, a hopelessly disorganized and spirited psychologist.

But it turns out we think about consistent productivity in similar ways.

When he talks, he uses concepts like:

  • goals and objectives
  • execution
  • figuring out the scope of the project
  • assumptions and constraints

When I talk, I refer to concepts like:

  • tolerating your difficult feelings
  • making room for flow
  • developing a daily practice
  • dealing with your self-doubt and resistance

As you can tell, our relationship is bilingual.  We often see each other as originating from an alternate universe. 

What I realized from this conversation was we agreed on one thing.   We used the exact same language to describe that one thing.  I also realized that this thing is the most important factor in being able to develop a practice of consistent productivity.  That thing is — DON’T PERSONALIZE IT.

My husband would say, “It’s a project with a defined purpose with a beginning and an end.  Don’t personalize it.”

I would say, “Don’t personalize it.  It is a project, not a statement about you or your worth or value as a person.”

No matter how we say it, we both want you to get this message firmly into your head.

This is difficult to do because from a young age we are trained that work is important and that the better we do, the better we should feel about ourselves.  This association gets developed and reinforced over and over again as we grow up, and not just in academic environments.  That association may be useful in motivating us to get good grades in school, but the closeness and intensity of this association between work and ego can inhibit us from feeling free to work when there are high stakes involved, and sometimes when there is any work involved at all.

Let that association go.  Let it go.  #singitifyouhaveto

The benefits of being able to separate your ego from your work are many.  They include:

  • clearer thinking
  • quicker decision making
  • better judgment
  • better communication and discussion
  • less time waste
  • more room for creativity
  • easier collaboration
  • consistent productivity

Let your work be your work.  It stands on its own.  Don’t burden the work or yourself with extra meanings, messages, or expectations.  Do what needs to get done with your best intentions, motivation, and skill.  Be courageous and stretch yourself.  Invest yourself in making your work better rather than in needing your work to garner you some praise or acceptance.  And never let fear get in your way.  

You might even be able to get along well with someone who speaks a totally different language than you.

Related reading:

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

How to Boost Your Mindset and Motivation

How to Boost Your Mindset and Motivation

I have learned over years of coaching and counseling many clients, that it is of utmost importance to understand the nature of a person’s mindset before trying to help them with anything else.  Without knowing what kind of mindset the client has and understanding how it operates, any efforts at behavior change will likely fall flat, or worse, be demoralizing and lead to even more frustration for the client.  

Taking a hard look at our mindset can be a tricky affair though.  We believe, in our heart of hearts, we are trying our best to keep ourselves at our best.  That makes it difficult for us to see how we might be blocking our own progress with the negative messages we sometimes give ourselves.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re curious about what your mindset has been doing for you:

  1. What messages am I telling myself? 
  2. How am I coaching myself — to succeed or to avoid failing?
  3. What kind of mindset to I possess — a positive, forward-looking mindset or a negative, fear-based mindset?
  4. What kind of future am I predicting for myself?  
  5. What factors in my past have caused me to feel the need to coach myself in this way?
  6. What do I fear when I think about letting go of my current negative mindset?  What do I think is going to happen?

Often the answers to the questions above are pretty frightening.  Frighteningly negative, that is.

For instance, the internal coaching conversation might sound something like this:

“Although you were a star student when you were younger, things have gotten a lot more competitive.  Your work better be better than you can even imagine before you put it out there.”

“If I finish my work and submit it, then I might actually confirm what I have been fearing all along — that I am not good enough, and that I am definitely not as talented as my friends clearly are.”

“I need to deal with myself incredibly harshly because that has gotten me far in the past.  I don’t know if I could even get anything done if I stopped being so self-critical.”

“I don’t really know what will happen if I change my way of doing things.  I’m too afraid to find out.”

The general tone of these conversations is strongly negative.  It also feels as if the conversations can only go one way — down into deeper negativity.  It is no wonder we can’t make new changes, get our work done, or concentrate well when we are steeped in negative thinking about ourselves and our future.  It would seem as if we lacked motivation, when really we’re just scared to act on our motivation.

A negative mindset insists that we keep ourselves rooted in anxiety and fear.  There’s little hope for real progress and growth when the negative mindset dominates our thinking.

The good news is, if you have a negative mindset, there are great ways to start looking at your situation in a fresh light.  Here are a few options:

  1. Read a book to be influenced by others’ experiences.  One book you might start with is The Secret from Rhonda Byrnes.  This is a book I recommend to clients who are mired in negative thinking and can’t seem to find another way.  The messages in The Secret tend to make you worried about having a negative mindset any longer.
  2. Find a simple place to start.  Since negative thinking tends to cause us to feel burdened, we need to find a simpler way of getting things done so we can feel the benefits of being active again.  You could take a quick walk around the block.  You could decide to study outside your apartment.  You could set a small goal that will take 15 minutes and get that goal accomplished.  Don’t let your thinking block you from the things you can do very easily and well.  
  3. Do something for someone else.  Send a text message to check in on a friend.  Meet up with someone for a quick lunch for fun.  Just get out of your own head.  Chances are you’ll find a more positive outlook if you do.  
  4. Declare a restart.  Remember that at any point of the year, month, week, or day, you can decide to do things a little bit differently.  No one has to know you are about to do a total reboot.  Just you.
  5. Find support.  If you feel like you are caught in your negative thinking pattern for the long haul, I urge you to seek support.  Time is too precious a thing to waste, and your life and sense of well-being are worth whatever efforts you might need to make to reclaim them.  Find a therapist or coach, mentor, or friend who might be able to lend their expertise and support to you while you figure out the best way to move ahead.  

There are so many options for you.  Unfortunately, it sometimes seems easier to stay hidden undercover where no one can find you than to show up as yourself.  It can feel too overwhelming to make changes even though you know you need and want to make them.

I want to assure you that your desire to feel better about yourself is the positive message you should be listening most closely too.  The internal knowing you naturally have will keep you grounded and safe as you go.  It will guide you into the new territory, both externally and internally, you’ve been meaning to see.

Before you go:

The Freedom from Procrastination Membership Program

If you are interested in receiving support from me in your efforts to combat Procrastination, I encourage you to consider joining me in my Freedom from Procrastination Membership Program.  The Membership Program has been up and running smoothly for about 3 months, and through it I’ve learned that the twin superpowers of having accountability and community can really supercharge everyone’s ability to make the changes they need to make.  For more information about the Membership Program, please read more here.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

My Latest Greatest Secret Weapon for Getting Things Done

A secret weapon for getting things doneGetting things done is a high-priority item for me since I’ve recovered from chronic Procrastination.  Alongside my recovery has been an avid interest in exploring tools, tricks, and apps that might help me to get things done more quickly and easily.  I want to share with you my latest and best find, which has helped me in small ways that have yielded tremendous results.

The app is called Magnet.  As far as I can tell, it is an app that is used for laptop or desktop screens, and not smartphones.  But that’s great, because Magnet will change the way you work on your laptop or desktop.

What it does is simple.  Magnet enables you to click your work to the left/right/bottom/top of your screen so you have room to view another part of your work on the other available part of your screen.  Basically, the app allows you to split your screen so you can see different sets of information on the same screen without having to toggle between tabs on your computer.

Wham!

Here’s a sense of what Magnet can do with what’s on your screen:

Magnet is an app for getting things done!

This is such a timesaver.  But what I have found is that it makes my efforts to create a new blogpost or on-line course (or anything I’m writing on my laptop) so much easier.  I can stay in “flow” with my course of action because I don’t have to switch my brain off in order to find another piece of information from another tab.  This app proves that a simple idea can have the most powerful effect.

I hope you’ll take my word on this one and give Magnet a try.  Use it to multi-task (#shiver), to toggle between tasks, or manage your empire.  Enjoy getting things done with ease and of course, the extra time that comes with that.  Boom!

P.S.  If you use a PC, please research options for split-screen apps or options for PC users.  Working without the need to switch back and forth is wonderful.

Please share any tips, tricks, or apps you might secretly use to rock your productivity. We’d love to know!  Remember to join the Procrastination Coach Facebook Group for camaraderie, support, and information on getting things done if you haven’t already.  Let me know how I might be able to help you in your efforts to get rid of your Procrastination in the Facebook group. Finally, to receive access to a Free Resource Library for Procrastination Coach readers, please click this button  –> Click Here to Get Access

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone