When we look outside of ourselves for confirmation of what we feel and do, we complicate matters a lot. We turn from knowing what we feel and do, to looking in other directions, away from ourselves. At times, we can look everywhere and anywhere else for any sign that things are all okay. We can even start to wrack our minds about how the future will or will not pan out for us. And in the moments we turn to the presumed future for answers, we turn away from the entirety of what reality and the present moment have to give us.
There are many, myriad situations which may cause us to lose our bearing:
- unexpected stress
- sudden changes
- when there are no clear right answers
- when it appears there are no favorable outcomes possible
- when someone disrespects us
- when we feel passionately about our cause
- when we imagine dangers
- when we feel unsure
- when we care about other’s opinions a bit too much
Truthfully, it is not that difficult for us to get out of touch with what we think and feel. I would guess it happens multiple times a day to most of us. And many of those times happen outside of our awareness, like a mild breeze passing by. Others cause us to shake and to shiver in our boots, making us feel completely ungrounded, useless, and spent.
If you cannot imagine ever trusting your own sense about your actions and feelings, think again. You are actually a smooth running operator, tripped up only by your own sense of vulnerability. You move throughout the day actually trusting your gut about so much. If you have gotten out of practice in connecting to what your gut is telling you, I want you to know this is fixable. Start practicing active listening to yourself, your instincts, and your inclinations. It will be broadly useful to you if you do.
Although we may enjoy and rely on others’ commenting and validating what we do, it is not an essential part of our capacity to act on our own behalf.