5 Areas that Procrastinators Have All Wrong

Waste“What a waste.”

What kind of feelings did you just have reading the phrase “What a waste?”  Did you feel guilty?  Did you feel ashamed?  Did the phrase sound really familiar?

I grew up being pretty conscious of not wasting things, like food and material items. Conserve, conserve, and then conserve some more.  And then reuse, please.

Many years later, I read an article (I regret that I didn’t save it) that somehow linked being afraid of the idea of wasting things and Procrastination.  Essentially, those who are afraid to waste things are more inclined to Procrastinate.  At least that’s how I remembered the content of the article.

And that seems to make total sense to me.  If you are finely attuned to not causing waste, you are generally more inclined to hang on to things.  And you guessed it ladies and gentlemen, Procrastinators tend to hang on to things way too long.

A central part of my own recovery from chronic Procrastination was understanding that when I hung on to things, I was wasting the asset I should have been protecting most carefully — time.

Gradually, I started re-evaluating all of my movements.  Were they in line with my needs? Were they time-efficient?  Over time, I began to feel much more comfortable with USING time well.  I wasn’t saddled with an amorphous feeling of time waste any more.  I was able to develop goals that seemed bigger to me than “Don’t be wasteful.”  I now am happy to say, I use my time pretty well.

Here’s a list of items you might have thought were wastes of your time and energy that are actually essential to healthy living:

  1. Exercise
  2. Taking time out or having down time
  3. Spending time with others
  4. Cleaning and tidying
  5. Being thoughtful about your goals and intentions

The list above contains items that on first thought, might make us feel fearful of taking all of our time up.  But on second thought, each item on the list leads to us feeling lighter. Let’s feel lighter.

There’s always going to be a little bit of a time waste factor.  We’re human, not finely-tuned robots.  And time speeds by really quickly.  Enjoy those bits of waste as you learn to use the time that is yours with all the spirit you have.  You won’t be wasting your time.

News to share:

I invite you to join The Procrastination Coach Facebook Group if you are interested in recovering from your Procrastination and if you interested in being part of a thoughtful, supportive community.  Please go here if you would like to start.

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Why Do Procrastinators Suffer?

Let's not suffer,shall we-I hesitated to use the word “suffer” in the title for fear of turning everyone who might read this post away.

However, I think it is important for me to address ALL issues relevant to Procrastinators and not just the cute ones.

In my experience, Procrastinators, myself included, associate a feeling of suffering with doing work.  The project due on Friday won’t be done until we face the ugly feelings that work can bring:

  • uncertainty
  • fear
  • frustration
  • feeling unprepared
  • feeling unknowledgeable
  • feeling unready

It makes sense that we would begin to associate work with dread and dread with work. We are too smart to walk towards activities that cause us to feel dread, and so we walk away.  Or if you are like me, you run away as fast as you can.

That, my dear friends, is where the suffering comes in.  We start out feeling relieved, but then find ourselves going in two different directions at once — thinking about the work we left behind while trying to do something else going forward.  The longer we stay away from our work, the more vulnerable we are to self-attacking thoughts, feelings of embarrassment, and lots of other negative experiences.  We turn away from those around us, and suffer privately, and seemingly constantly.

Let’s not suffer anymore, shall we?

Take a look at your own emotional signals.  Are they firing like crazy when you think about doing work?  Are you in emotional overdrive every time you walk into your office or drive to work or open your notebook?

There really is no need to be in emotional chaos just because you have work to do.  You can focus and be productive and make changes without feeling burdened.

Work does require the work feeling, a feeling that tends to be heavier than the kind which comes when we are headed to get ice cream.  But we need to learn to tolerate that initial rush of frustration, fear, or dread.  It’s just your body gearing up.  You don’t run out of your car at the sound of the engine revving up, even though it’s a loud noise.  When we run away from our cars, it becomes extremely difficult to drive.  Don’t run away the next time you need to start up your work.  Try it today.  Figure out your destination and start heading there.

Nobody wants you to suffer.  Especially me.  Now go and have yourself a great day.

News to Share:

I recently started the Procrastination Coach Facebook Group.  A small group of people interested in working towards greater calm and productivity and I are co-figuring out how the group will grow and feel.  If you are interested in being a pioneer member, please send me a request to join here.

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One Quirky Thing about Procrastinators

2016 Goals

I have been wanting to write this post for years.

You see, every time I meet a Procrastinator in my office (or on a coaching call), I spend the first session getting to know my new client by interviewing them about their personal history and their current difficulties.  Oftentimes, before the end of the first session, I will assist the client to design something they can accomplish before we meet again in a week.  I take care not to overwhelm with large assignments or daunting tasks.  This is just a get-to-know-you kind of exercise.

What happens in the next session is something that never fails to fascinate me.

Almost invariably, the client will come in, looking and sounding dejected.  I will listen to the client admit to not getting the task accomplished and I will see how badly the client feels to be in this position.

Here’s what’s so fascinating though.

Almost invariably, I will listen more closely for the real story. What is the real story?  The real story is the client benefited from disclosing their history and current problems to someone else.  The story continues that the client goes home, back to real life, and does something very different: the client makes a change away from Procrastination.  Most new clients actually do a good amount of the challenge that was assigned to them in the first session.  But the interesting thing is, they fail to see their progress as progress. Even though they made real progress, they do not see or report it as such.

So here are the takeaways I’ve learned:

Procrastinators are mired in a negative way of looking at themselves and use negatively-tinged language to describe what they have and have not done.  This negative outlook causes Procrastinators to feel down persistently.  Procrastinators, over time, become unable to break the chain of sadness that comes with not moving forward and then find themselves completely stuck.

And here’s the lesson I give back to my clients:

I get to point out the reality that they cannot refute — they are fully capable of changing their behaviors as they please, but only if they realize how powerful they themselves really are.  I get to be a kind of translator for their experience.  I get to be excited for them.

And here’s the lesson for you, Dear Reader:

It is not important the size of the change that you are wanting to make, but it is very important that you take steps to make a change and to acknowledge it for what it represents.  You may need someone else’s help in this change process, but that is okay. You will be able to manage that process too.  You may need to write down the steps you take.  That is okay too.  This is the exact time of year to get a fresh notebook to track your growth and change.

Whatever you need to do, go do it.  I know you are capable of making that real story unfold.

Happy New Year Friends and thank you for continuing to follow my trail of thought crumbs here at Procrastination Coach.  I’m looking forward to good times with you this year.

News to Share:

I’ve decided to start a Facebook community for everyone interested in recovering from Procrastination.  I’m excited about this opportunity to get to know you better and to provide a space for you to get to know each other too.  If you are interested in joining, please go to The Procrastination Coach Facebook Group.  

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