Procrastination Coach and TONE Networks Expert Dr. Christine Li
TONE Networks Expert Valerie Grubb
Enjoy these excerpts from the TONE Talk conversation between moderator and Human Resources Expert Valerie Grubb and Procrastination Coach Dr. Christine Li. Topics discussed include procrastination, minimalism, and rescuing time from distraction. The original conversation, which took place on February 27, 2018, was part of the many offerings of the new social network for women, TONE Networks.
VAL: I’m INCREDIBLY EXCITED to welcome our first ever guest tonight on TONE Talk: Dr. Christine Li, the Procrastination Coach, will help us conquer whatever stands in our way of productivity.
QUESTIONS/DISCUSSION
VAL: Hello again and welcome again to tonight’s talk with TONE Expert Dr. Christine Li, the Procrastination Coach.
To kick us off, Dr. Li, I would love to hear how you became interested in the topic of procrastination. What drew you to this subject?
CHRISTINE: I have been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember. I never thought my procrastination was something I could take care of or fix until I volunteered to design a workshop for procrastinators at Columbia University.
In doing the research for the workshop, I realized the extent of my procrastination problem, and my eyes were then opened. After running the workshop, I became hooked on how quickly procrastinators can make positive changes in their lives and seeing people blossom in new ways.
VAL: In watching your expert videos, I learned that procrastination has a lot to do with self-doubt. Can you tell us more about that concept?
CHRISTINE: One thing I’ve realized in working with procrastinators is that the issue is never with the person’s ability to know HOW to do the work. It is never an issue of ABILITY. Procrastination is more an issue of not having the confidence to move forward when the answers or pathway is not entirely clear.
That’s why I emphasize the importance of self-care for people who wish to recover from their chronic procrastination. When we are taking excellent care of ourselves, with sleep, nutrition, and kindness towards ourselves, we stand a much better chance of being able to get our work done smoothly and successfully.
VAL: How do I know if procrastination is creeping into my life?
CHRISTINE: Great question, because procrastination is so sneaky. It is sneaky because it enters our lives innocently, just because we have a day or two with too much on our plate.
We don’t mean to push things off unnecessarily, but we feel we need a break from the stress of the moment. No problem with that, I’d say.
The problems start when we rely on being able to run in the opposite direction of our work and responsibilities. You’ll know when procrastination has started creeping into your life when you spend a good portion of your time battling your procrastination impulses rather than thinking about what you actually have to get done.
Procrastination becomes a bigger problem than the original issue you were trying to avoid!
VAL: I poured through all of your expert videos on TONE Networks and I have to admit, it was probably one of the best hours I’ve had in a really long time!
One of your expert videos was very eye-opening for me – in the video you mention how minimalism can help with chronic procrastination.
First, what is minimalism? Does that mean I’m going to have to go live in the woods?
And secondly, what’s the tie-in between minimalism and procrastination?
CHRISTINE: Thanks for your kind words about my TONE videos and for your humor. Thanks also for highlighting one of my favorite ways to get rid of procrastination.
In my own journey, minimalism meant taking the time and making the effort to pare down and to simplify EVERY AREA of my life. That meant my physical clutter (and there was a lot), my schedule, my errands, my obligations, and my to-do list.
Even though the process of going more minimal was a gradual one, I realized the benefits of living this way almost immediately. When you have less stuff to look at, you feel calmer. When you only have two things to decide between, you probably will end up making the proper choice.
These things sound like common sense, but I think our society often encourages us to live with too much stuff, stress, and things to do.
When you choose just what makes sense, what you need, and what makes you happy, you end up feeling free and calm. For me, that new sense of calmness was a welcome relief after having lived in a constant state of procrastination-induced panic for so many years.
So no, you don’t have to go live in the woods to get this kind of calm, but you might have a lot more time on the weekends to go explore the woods once you adopt a simpler lifestyle!
The tie-in between minimalism and procrastination for me is overwhelm. I don’t think anyone does their best when they are overwhelmed. Yet many of us know what it’s like to live every day pretty stressed out and overwhelmed.
Minimalism gives us a leg up on a world filled with stress. When we live with less, we are able to see what is really important to us, both personally and professionally. I highly recommend everyone try this technique out!
VAL: So how do we start introducing the concept of minimalism into our lives?
CHRISTINE: I would have everyone start in their closet. Going through your closet is like basic training for new minimalists. When your closet is overstuffed and under-tended to, you’re probably having difficulty “knowing what to wear” each morning or you’re wearing clothes that don’t really suit you.
Take a deep breath and give yourself just ONE hour to start tackling what needs to leave your closet. This is a great way to start introducing minimalism into your life. What I love about minimalism is that ANYONE can do it and EVERYONE can benefit from it!
VAL: One of my biggest time sucks is email. I spend HOURS a day getting caught up only to come in the next day and BOOM, I’m behind again which sets my entire schedule back.
So is it procrastination or I’m just getting too many emails? How can I take control of email?
CHRISTINE: Val, I am sure you are getting too many emails. We all are.
If you’ve noticed, teenagers don’t (really) use e-mail. I once read an article that indicated teenagers who have grown up with technology at their fingertips know how NOT to focus on things that might take too much of their attention, such as e-mail. The article also mentioned that’s why Snapchat and texting are the more-preferred ways of communicating for teens.
Once I read that article, my whole perspective on email changed. Since I value my time so much now, one of my goals is to make sure I don’t sink too much of my time into processing e-mail.
Here are some of the tips I share with my clients for how to win the battle against e-mail:
- Don’t stress out about what you are going to say. Perfection never really pays off in e-mail because most of the time emails are forgotten as soon as they’re transmitted and/or read.
- Use bullet points (i.e. lists) in your reply to save time, but maintain clarity.
- Set a rule that you will only handle a single email a maximum of 2 times. Setting this kind of limit will help you get your email work done more quickly.
- Set an automatic signature which will appear at the bottom of every email you send.
- Use the free service Unroll.me periodically to clear your inbox of newsletters and promotional material you’re no longer interested in. P.S. This tip is a GAME-CHANGER!
VAL: I’m guessing we’ve all experienced lost chunks of time due to social media. It’s shocking how a “quick check of Instagram” results in losing an hour!
What to do? I like my social media Dr. Li! Don’t make me give that up!
CHRISTINE: The great thing about giving up procrastination is that you actually end up with MORE TIME. It is a beautiful thing, I promise and swear.
You won’t have to give up social media to have more productivity in your life. But you might choose to use social media more mindfully.
You can still enjoy Instagram, but you’ll be more attuned to that moment when you’re really surfing mindlessly or avoiding doing something else and you’ll be able to stop yourself from continuing more easily.
You’ll learn how to treat yourself with more kindness and compassion, and that means you’ll avoid throwing away your time unnecessarily.
VAL: I experienced a crushing situation this year in that my accountant dropped the ball in keeping my finances up-to-date in Quickbooks, an accounting software system. I now need to enter an entire year’s worth of data.
I feel SO overwhelmed and I just can not seem to get myself to even START entering data and yet I HAVE GOT TO GET THIS DONE ASAP.
How can I give myself a kick in the pants to get moving on such a huge undertaking?
CHRISTINE: Sorry to hear about that, Val. And thank you for sharing your predicament. It just happens to be a perfect example of how our perspective is so important in our ability to get active and productive.
The first thing to note is you said, “I feel SO overwhelmed.” I’m highlighting that part because it is an example of how the feeling of overwhelm causes you to procrastinate, and not the actual task (although it is daunting).
We all need to be able to do hard things to have an easy life. I’ve been hearing that on podcasts a lot lately. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. As we all know, not everything is a walk in the park, so we have to build our frustration tolerance little by little so we can do the heavy lifting.
The second thing to note is you said, “How can I give myself a kick in the pants…?” I point that out because – really – who really wants to give themselves a kick in the pants?! When we choose to punish ourselves for our delay, we make the starting even more difficult.
What’s the answer? Pick a date and time and then commit to doing at least 20 minutes of data entry. Don’t beat yourself up for anything.
Actually, change your mindset altogether, and say a word of gratitude that you have as much time as you do to get this all together before tax day. When you practice gratitude, everything tends to go a bit easier.
VAL: Sometimes I feel like I just can’t get my brain to focus on what needs to get done which leads to me not getting anything done. How can I stop that from happening?
CHRISTINE: Get lots of rest every night. Make sure you are well-hydrated and well-nourished. Make time for breaks in your day so your brain doesn’t fry itself. And take a compassionate attitude towards yourself when you feel you can’t get anything done.
None of us is perfect, but all of us are holding enormous talent and potential. We’re all just trying to realize a bit more of our potential without making ourselves nuts!
VAL: We appreciate all your advice and recommendations for clearing our minds and calendars and moving forward with accomplishing our goals and dreams.
Any final thoughts, Dr. Li?
CHRISTINE: One thing I haven’t mentioned is the importance of staying CONNECTED to other people when you are trying to do self-development work. When we get isolated, we tend to lose perspective, motivation, meaning, and momentum. We are all stronger when we are together!
Thank you so much, Val, for your hard work and for putting your heart and soul in everything you do for TONE Networks. I’ve enjoyed this TONE Talk so much!
VAL: Thanks again to all participants tonight! GREAT conversation.
Interested in checking out some of the expert videos offered through TONE Networks? Use this link for a free 14-day trial of TONE Networks, a new social network for women: www.tonenetworks.com/#/plan/30dayfree.
